okay... here goes an attempt at reconnection

okay, so since everybody seems to have the wrong idea about what really went down at the movie under the stars, here it is:

so im there with my best friend from like grade 2 that moved away and all my other friends are there too, we are all on top of one of the dugouts.

so she knows a few from elementary school that i still hang around with.. in particular one guy who i kinda sorta liked. they both knew. didnt see any problem there.

so, the movie is almost done, and all of a sudden they are cuddled up under the same blanket. it *was* the 3 of us talking, but i was getting excluded from the conversation,

so of course, me being a stubborn bitch and all, i went and sat a few feet away by myself. after a few minutes i realized nobody was talking anymore and i looked over to see why it went so quiet.

my jaw almost dropped out of it's socket.

.... so i've heard different versions of this part, "they kissed and she started crying" and all that kind of stuff...

they were making out knowing full well i was 5 feet away.

so, i just got up, jumped down from the roof, and started walking home. its only 4 blocks.

about 1 block down the hill, a group of my friends that got bored with the movie were walking towards me.

they made me tell them what happened. they let me go home. they went back up.

i dont know what happened, but i heard one of my best buds slapped him (proud of you)

i was about halfway home and the traffic was starting to pile up when the "where are you" and "im so sorry" texts started to pile up.

the feeling of seeing 2 of your oldest friends that you trust doing the things you least expect and that they know would hurt you is unexplainable. its a horrible feeling. its betrayal.

think before you leap & live to love

you can stand under my umbrella

old songs have the most meaning to me. take the songs i danced to with my little brother when we were 3 and 1 years old. those are the songs with the most vivid and beautiful memories. sure, they are starting to fade, but new songs are showing me new memories as i hear more and more. some are now bittersweet, other just plain piss me off.

my days of immaturity are pretty much over, for i have had enough of it. those are the memories that piss me off. the ones where after, i think "why the hell would you do that?" or "what the hell were you thinking?" or "oh shit... that was really embarrassing."

some things i wish i had done, others i regret. we are supposed to live life without regret, but i have no idea how that is possible.

any help would be appreciated

oh, by the way, its friday the 13th, the luckiest day of the month :) i say this because my birthday falls on a 13th and i 13 is my lucky number, well one of them

-k.tree

PS sorry for not posting for a while, i havent been on the computer a whole lot

coastal smog

sorry for my absence, i was up the coast in Desolation Sound on my aunt and uncle's rather large boat and i never got on the computer until now since ive been home. since there are almost 400 wildfires burning in BC at the moment, the smoke haze has been blown into the sound. it is hard to see more than a kilometre.
the past few days have been filled with laziness, sitting on the bow or bridge of the boat, reading, eating, drinking. twice, we went "gunkholing", going out in the dingy and looking at all the other boats moored in our area. we went around the point from where we were, into Prideaux Haven yesterday afternoon where there was something like 150-200 boats, all moored, rafted and stern-tied. the rugged landscape and hidden spots of Desolation Sound appeals to many people, and they flock there for the summer vactions on their sailboats and yachts and kayaks. the past 2 days, it has rained, the only rain we have had since june! the rain has cleared the air and the haze is all but gone!